I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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