i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
