I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
