..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
