operation harelip BJ is a go
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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