I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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