lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
