I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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