Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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