I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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