Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
