Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
