I'm jealous of your bromance
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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