Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
