the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
