i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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