True but thats because hes a fetus.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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