Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
