i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
