so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
