hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
