The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
