They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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