I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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