You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
