I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
