he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
