So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
