I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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