Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
