he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
