Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
