I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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