She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
