If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
