Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
