D3 body, D1 cock
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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