went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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