So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Success! We fucked roommates!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
