No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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