I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
