Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
