you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can text with my tongue
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think my vagina is haunted
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
