so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
