i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
