If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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