she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
