I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
