i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
