yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
